Why?

Hey Everybody! This is officially the beginning of my blog, which will be the online version of the book I’ve been writing for the past 15 years! I’m really psyched about sharing my thoughts and experiences that are in this book in a way where I didn’t have to wait for somebody to grace me with the Almighty privilege of getting my book published...(just kidding…not really).

So, despite any slight amazement to friends, the title is real. I have close friends that will be my first readers… so naturally I was nervous about spilling my guts out on this. But then I realized, fuck…if I’m not honest about myself, how can I preach the idea about self honesty that’s all over this book?

As far as the title, I suffered a major nervous breakdown 12 or 13 years back and it was scary as all hell. But, I slowly went to therapy, took some pills here and there for a while and soon after, I was stable enough to function as a normal person, (whatever that is). But after surviving it, I realized the most important thing I will ever learn. . . self preservation. Even though interacting socially is a beautiful, fun and rewarding thing…you can’t don’t do it at the extent of shorting your own self interests. In the end, You have to look out for yourself first, then you give to others. That way, you’ll be sufficiently equipped to be there in whatever way you want to be…as a friend, a family member, a lover, whatever. Its like the Stewardess say’s, you need to put that mask on yourself first, before you can save anyone else…

So ever since I survived my little “situation”, I have been seriously awakened to the coolest realizations! I’m like that guy that loves the taste of the simplest foods after surviving an apocalypse or something. Seriously, you really appreciate and absorb things you never even gave a shit about before an experience like that. I now love talking about everything that always intrigued me about people…Why we are the way we are, why we do the things we do, why we make the decisions we make, the goals, the letdowns, the failures...The fights we have, the dreams we let go of… the fears we have, the ones we instill…The power we give, the power we take away. Why we’re vulnerable and why we’re defensive. Why are people conditional even though they love? Why people are too giving even if they hate…why the hell don’t people listen even though they’re talking to each other and for the love of Christ, why don’t people say what’s on their minds even though they mean well…

This is not stuff to be condemning or negative about. Its stuff that all people, to on one extent or another, do and the main reason I want to discuss it is so we can all share our thoughts and ideals…so we can be upfront as a collective group and hopefully understand why some of this stuff goes on. So, we march on. I can’t wait. It’s funny shit and I look forward to talking about it....

Phil